Title: This is Bullshit (45/?)
Authors: howido_fics & youbrat
Pairing: Brendon/Ryan
Rating: PG
Summary: Home sweet Home.
Disclaimer: *sigh*
Author’s Note: This is a co-write. howido_fics is Brendon/Spencer, youbrat is Ryan/Alex. Ryan's pov is in blue and Bren's is normal black.




This week has been intense. Between working at my dad's office, part-timing and making up hours at the smoothie place, having band practice, and getting Ry's place ready for him, I barely had time to breathe. I didn't feel comfortable staying at Ryan's place, even though it was a closer drive to EVERYWHERE I needed to go, it just didn't feel right. But believe me there were a couple nights that I just wanted to crash here.

Today though, Ryan was finally coming home. The band came over to help Spence and I finish up the room downstairs for Ryan. I had the idea to pull down Ry's bed and make the room almost identical to his room upstairs, kind of like he was still up there and nothing was different. We made sure to set up all his entertainment stuff and find something (removable) to cover most of the windows since it was on the other side of the house.

I smiled, looking over the room, doing some last minute touches as the band filed out, heading to practice and write some music, stating they didn't need me for singing yet. That was a huge relief. Really, I just wanted to snuggle with Ryan, back in my arms again. Maybe watch a movie or play some video games...read a book. I wasn't picky. I just wanted to be near him.

Spencer decided to stick around to greet Ryan, telling the guys he would be there as soon as Ryan was all settled. They asked us to say hello to Ry for them and left. Sighing, I lounged back on the bed, kicking off my shoes. "I bet you're excited to have Ry back in town, huh?" Spencer asked, toying with his shirt.

"You don't even know..."

Mom and Dad stayed at the hotel while we were still in LA. During the day they helped me pack what I was taking home with me. Alex helped too, whenever he didn't have to be working. I spent my remaining days in LA in our apartment, the other guys stopping by when they could, keeping me company if Alex and my parents weren't around. They also helped in smuggling food like pizza and Thai whenever they could. Mom was on a health kick and wanted me eating all natural foods; apparently she thought it would help my leg heal faster. I thought it was disgusting.

My nights were spent in Alex's bed with him. He'd hold me or just lay beside me, and we'd talk and enjoy our time together but pretty much refused to discuss the fact that I was leaving LA. In the end though, Alex had asked for the day off to help me prepare to leave the city and say goodbye. It had been a hard goodbye, even though we both knew we'd see each other again before too long. We couldn't stay away from each other anymore, not after living together, I knew he'd be heading back home before very long so he could see me, and of course I'd be going back to LA as soon as I could.

I said goodbye to the guys and to Alex, and mom and dad drove me home. I slept pretty much the whole way and didn't even know what was going on when they finally pulled in front of our house and got out of the car. I was groggy, only half awake, not realizing we'd actually stopped.

The doctor wanted me in a wheelchair for another week before seeing my home doctor and hopefully getting a pair of crutches. So, due to all that, my dad picked me up and carried me, still half asleep, into the house. I expected him to take me to my room, but instead he headed for his study in the back of the house.

I sat straight up as I heard Ryan's front door opening. That meant RYAN WAS HOME! I was so excited to get to see him again, even though it was just a few days. It was also a relief that it was the weekend again, so I had two days I didn't have to work at the office, and this weekend, I only worked about 10 hours at the smoothie place. Jumping off the bed, I nudged Spencer up too as Ryan's dad carried him into the room.

We were out of his way by the time Ryan was on the bed. Smiling down at him, I ran my hand up his good leg, not really wanting to kiss him in front of his father. I knew his dad wouldn't mind, but I didn't want to be rude, plus Ry just got home from a long drive, he probably needed some space. I kept my eyes on his as his father left the room, Spencer calling after, following him out to ask if he needed help with anything.

Once Ryan and I were alone in the room, I walked over and sat down next to him, running my hand over his face and placing my thumb on his cheek. I leaned down, pressing a kiss to his closed mouth, keeping mine the same, and pulled back, looking around the room, "So, how did we do?" I asked, smiling at our hard work then back at him, "I know this isn't how you wanted the summer to go, but if it's any consolation, I am so happy you are here, and I mean that in the most unselfish way possible."

I smiled up at Brendon once we were left alone and reached over to play gently with his hand. I nodded a little and sighed, just leaning back against the pillows. I looked at my boyfriend in front of me and sighed softly, "I know...this isn't how I wanted to spend this summer. I didn't want to spend it in a bed or in a cast or on crutches...and yeah, I wanted to spend my summer in LA...I wanted to spend it doing the internship."

Sighing, I closed my eyes and shrugged a little. "The only thing I can really do is go along the plan that the label set out for me and work with their sister studio here. I'm not even allowed to do anything with them until I'm on crutches, which isn't until next week. And then I don't even know what I'll be doing because it isn't the label, it’s just a studio. But maybe they'll have me work some shows at the House of Blues or something. I hope so at least because I like working shows."

I bit my lip and looked up at Brendon before shrugging a little. "I don't know...I get to go back to LA at the end of the month, I think. I'll be on crutches then...that’s...two weeks away. Either that or I'm going back at the beginning of August. And then I have to go back at the very end of the internship for whatever ending thing they're doing. And then...then I start back at college...I'd like to think this cast will be long gone by then, but I think that might be wishful thinking."

I shrugged again as my parents brought in my bags as well as the wheelchair that they'd gotten for me from the hospital. It would enable me to move around the downstairs of the house if I needed to, although the doctor didn't really want me wheeling it alone. But there were going to be times I was home alone and would need to get to the bathroom as well as to get food.

"Well, that is good right?" I asked, scooting closer to him on the bed, running my hands through his hair, "I mean, you get to still do stuff with it..." I tried to smile at him. I knew it sucked, hell, if I were in that situation, I would have been devastated. That was why I had to make every moment I had here in this house a great time for him. Making the time he was with me something he looked forward too and made the days pass quicker.

"That'd be cool to work those shows, and you know, if you let me know like a week or something in advance, I would love to go with you, you know as a paying customer, but still, even if I was just in the same venue as you, we could hang out and stuff when you were done, like we did at the Cute show," I grinned, pecking his lips, running my hands down his sides, "How are your ribs feeling, the doc say anything about when you'll be able to get some from your boyfriend?" I teased as Spencer walked into the room.

"Hey man!" he smiled, "Glad to have you back here, I just wanted to make sure everything was cool and settled before I headed to band practice," he walked forward and gave Ryan a hug, shoving me playfully as he pulled back, "Oh, did Bren tell you we get to play like a twenty minute set at Warped this year? Some chick from our school entered us in a competition to the local radio station where they have a tent set up and we get to do a short set, we are stoked!"

I nodded to Spencer, "No, didn't tell him, but he knows now..." I shook my head, wanting to tell him myself, but really, as Ryan being the manager of the band, he deserved to know from the leader of the band, so I just smiled. It was going to be cool. Even though we were playing like five songs, and it was at 1 in the afternoon, still, we got in for free, and we got to go 'backstage'.

"That’s seriously awesome you guys...I hope I can figure out a way to be there to see that. It’s not something I want to miss at all...but I guess it depends on this leg of mine and all." I shrugged again and looked over at Spencer before pouting a little. "You guys are having practice on my day back? And I can't go." My dad shook his head as he put the bags down and turned to leave.

"Ryan, your mother is fixing you something to eat, well, she's fixing all of you something to eat. She'll bring it in as soon as it's ready. Ryan, it's good to have you home, although I wish it weren't in such conditions. I have to go into the office to catch up on some things from this week, I'll be home later tonight. Brendon, I assume you'll be spending the night, so I will see you then. Spencer, it was good to see you again." He nodded and left, and I turned back to the guys.

I reached over and played with Brendon's hand again, just running my fingertips between his fingers as I looked over at Spence and smiled a little. I didn't really want to answer Brendon's question about 'getting some' while Spence was there, although, at the same time, with everything he'd just recently been doing with my best friend it shouldn't bother him at all for me to say it in front of him.

I pulled Brendon's hand to my mouth and kissed it softly before murmuring against his hand. "Three weeks from the accident...so that means another two weeks...but...I still won't be healed fully by then...my ribs will probably still hurt...I'll probably still be sore and all...so we'll have to be careful." I bit my lip and then glanced toward Spence to see if he knew what we were talking about while I gently nibbled on Brendon's finger unconsciously.

Wiggling my brows at Ryan, Spencer shifted his weight from his left to right foot, "Yea, you should be able to come, it's not for two weeks, so you should be ok by then, right? I mean three weeks for the crutches and mobility, huh?" Picking some lint off his shirt, he yawned, pulled out his phone, and checked the time.

"Well, in that case," I winked at Ryan, "I won't be able to go to the Warped Tour, cause in three weeks I can officially make love to my boyfriend, and once that can happen, I don't think I'll be leaving the room but to shower and get some food and take a piss, so you know..." I shrugged at him.

He rolled his eyes, then shook his head, "Dammit, I thought...never mind..." he waved at me, "But speaking of getting it on, how's your wonderful best friend doing? I haven't talked to him since last night, I mean, I was just wondering..."

"What? How often do you two have phone sex? And please say it's not when he was in bed with Ryan, cause that's just rude..." I sighed, acting annoyed.

Spence shoved at me again, my hands flew up in defense, "We don't have phone sex...not everyone's first dates consisted of that!" he dug low, causing me to fake gasp.

"Hey now...if it weren't for my big mouth and horniness, you wouldn't even be asking those questions, so lock it up!" I giggled.

I chuckled and shook my head before pulling Brendon down to lie beside me. I just played with his hand and looked up at Spencer, grinning a little. "Well, I'll be there for Warped then. Even if we have to bring the fucking wheelchair to help me get through the day. And hey, if we're backstage, maybe we can steal someone's bus and you can get some before or after, or both."

I smirked softly and grinned, looking over at Brendon and pulling his lips to mine again, just kissing him softly before turning back to look at Spencer. "Are you going to just stand there or are you going to sit down and join us? You're making my ribs hurt just looking at you Spence."

I chuckled and did my best to sort of reposition myself so I was against Brendon, and he could wrap his arms around me. I was so conscious of my ribs, and I was being extra conscious of them as I moved and pulled Brendon's arm around me, waiting for Spence to settle down on the bed so I could see him.

"As for Lex, he's doing well, or at least was when we left LA. He was pretty depressed I was leaving. He has that apartment all to himself, and he said he'd be lonely and all, but he'll make it through. I'm sure he'll find a way to come home soon to see everyone...." I trailed off for a few moments before smirking and murmuring. "Have you guys actually said you're boyfriends now?"

Wrapping my arms lightly but efficiently around Ryan, I quirked a brow at him, never actually taking the time to discuss him and Alex, especially when the guys were around, because he hadn't really told them yet. Not that he was afraid or anything, it really just never came up. Spencer didn't make an attempt to sit down though.

"Well," he started, "I would love to stay, but we have to get the shit down for the Warped, and we are working on a new song that Bren still needs to do lyrics for, so I have to get going. As far as Alex goes," he let out a long sigh, "That isn't something we have officially discussed, cause you know, we were busy doing other things, and I don't really want to talk about it over the phone, but yea, I hope it's officially boyfriends...we're just gonna talk about it, you know, when he comes back and we fuck or something, we'll make some time to discuss it."

I rolled my eyes, kicking Spencer in the leg, who grabbed it, bending my knee with him as he leaned down to kiss my forehead then did the same to Ryan, saying goodbye and leaving.

Turning, I moved my hand across Ryan's upper chest, tickling the back of his neck, then looked down at his body, "You know, this damn cast is bigger than your entire body! I think the girth of it is bigger than your waist!" I laughed at him, shaking my head, but then pressing my lips to his jaw and up his chin.

I watched Spencer leave and sighed softly. I really did want him to stay. And chances were whenever Alex showed up, he'd be more concerned with me than to simply attack Spencer and get it on with him. Alex would be on the phone with me every night checking to see how I was doing and telling me what I was missing. He'd probably be on the phone with Spence every night too, well, maybe not every night, I wasn't quite sure how that all worked out because I didn't remember him being on the phone with him every night in the last week.

Sighing softly, I turned and captured Brendon's lips with mine, just kissing him softly and slowly before pulling back and murmuring. "I hate this thing. I want it gone and I want it off and I don't ever want to have it again." Frowning, I looked down at my leg and poked at the cast. It was signed by a million people. In the time between Brendon leaving and me leaving LA, all the guys from the internship had written notes and signed it, even the guys from Fall Out Boy and Frank from MCR showed up when they heard, and they signed it too. But I'd saved a spot for Bren to draw on for me, it was only a matter of time before I could get him to actually do it.

I looked back up at him and smiled softly. "But, I do get to see you every day...and dad said you're staying, you are, right? I'd like to spend the night with you...with you here..." I tilted my head up again and kissed him again softly. "I love you and seriously want you here with me tonight."

I turned to hover over him, basically just watching him as his mind ran a thousand miles a minute. He always was a thinker, and he was the type of thinker that actually looked like he was thinking when he was thinking. I always wondered when I saw him like this if you could see his eyes going, or even if you held your ear close enough if you could hear his thoughts. Not that I wanted to invade his privacy, I just wanted to know...

Lowering my head, I pressed my lips to his, moving my tongue to lap at his bottom lip, I pulled it between my teeth lightly sucking on it while my fingers tickled his hair. Moving back I smiled, "Of course I am going to stay, I love you too, and there is no place in the world I would rather be then here," I grinned, forming my lips with his again, "I even packed my sexy vintage Power Rangers pajamas for the occasion," I laughed.

Running my other hand down to his cast, I peered at it to read some of the writing, "I think it's kind of sexy, plus, you know, it pulls more attention to you, so now everyone will be staring at you and ogling over you and loving on you..." I pouted, "Oh wait, that's not a good thing, that's my job!" nodding, I wrapped my arm tighter around him, while the other one snaked up his shirt to simply run my fingers along his skin.

"Oh," I remembered, "I also brought over some movies! I don't remember which ones, I just grabbed a whole bunch, but if you don't mind, I'm kinda worn out, so I'd like to just lay here with you and hold you and watch something."

Nodding a little, I reached up and touched his cheek softly, letting my eyes slip closed as I enjoyed his touch. "That’s fine with me. A little food, some movies and you...I think that’s all I need to be happy for tonight." I held onto him and slowly wrapped my arm around his neck, just holding him there and ignoring everything else until I heard someone come into the room. Looking over his shoulder I saw my mom come in with a tray.

"Oh, I'm sorry boys, I didn't mean to interrupt anything. It’s so sad that Spencer had to leave, but, I have food for the two of you." With that, she placed the tray down on the side of the bed that we weren't laying on. The tray held a few cans of soda, a plate with homemade chicken fingers or bites on it, some dipping sauce, cut up fruit, homemade pizza slices, crackers and cheese and a plate of cookies. Mom was amazing, and I had no idea when she made the chicken fingers or pizza, but I was happy for it all the same.

Smiling at us, she left Bren and I alone with the food and each other. "So, I guess we can eat and watch whatever movies you brought with you..." I smiled at him and leaned in to kiss him softly before leaning back against the pillows again and looking around, wondering if there were any more pillows because I wanted another one behind my head and maybe one under my leg. I just wanted to be comfortable, which, with the cast, was damn near impossible no matter how I looked at it.

"I want this cast off...I can't wait until it can come off...I'm not even sure I can remember when that'll be though..." Sighing softly, I shrugged a little and looked up at Bren. "I still can't believe I was in a car accident...I can't...I mean..." Shaking my head, I closed my eyes. "I still can't really remember the whole thing...its still a fog..."

I leaned over and pet his hair, smoothing it out before kissing the spot my fingers had just matted down, "It is hard to believe, I mean, when my friends and coworkers ask about you and I tell them, it's just so surreal. I sometimes block them out not even really listening to them as I imagine what life would be like if you were hurt even worse than you are, or..." I gulped, looking down into his eyes, my own glassing over, "You weren't even here at all..."

Pressing my forehead against his chin, I placed my lips on his neck, nipping at it, I sighed, "I don't want to even think about it, really I don't. And you are here now," I mumbled into his skin, "So no worries, I mean," pulling my head back up I stared into his eyes, "Fuck I love you!" I smiled, pecking him on the lips as I reached over to blindly grab some food.

"And sitting here watching each other eat and watching movies sounds like the greatest thing in the whole wide world to do right now, anything with you..." propping myself up on my elbow, I managed to bring a piece of cheese pizza over to my mouth, I bit off a bite, sort of animalistic, then placed the other half to Ryan's lips.

"Or, better yet, we could feed each other in bed, you know, act like we are laying out on a starlit beach somewhere...the waves washing up the shore, you and me on a blanket, feeding each other, sharing kisses and soft touches," I finished the sentence, doing the things I mentioned, my fingers trailing up his chest.

Smiling, I took the piece of pizza into my mouth and ate it, keeping my eyes up and on Brendon. "Mmm...that sounds perfect Bren..but movies are good...I'm kinda tired too, even though I pretty much slept the whole way home from LA...but still...I just wanna be lazy...not that I can do much even if I wanted to because of this cast..."

Tilting my head slightly, I kissed him softly, slowly slipping my hand up and along his arm and keeping my lips just lightly against his, letting the kiss linger and last but stay pretty light. Those were the things I missed when I wasn't with him, the kisses, the softness, the tenderness. Not that Alex wouldn't kiss me or be tender and soft with me, but there was something about it being Bren, and I think that something was mostly the fact that he was my boyfriend and I loved him and he loved me. Course, Alex was my best friend and he loved me and I love him too, but there was a difference there and it showed in the type of kisses he and I would share, they were vastly different from those I'd share with Bren.

After a few moments I pulled back again and looked up at him with a smile. "Why don't you go find us some movies to watch, and maybe another couple of pillows so we're all comfy...I'll...well...I'll sit here and wait and eat some chicken while I wait."

Grinning, I shrugged a little before reaching over and getting one of the chicken fingers and popping it in my mouth. Mom knew just how much I loved those, and I was so glad it was the first thing I got to eat after getting home. Her homemade ones were so far better than anything you got in a restaurant. Mom never bought anything but the best when it came to food, but also because mom knew what she was doing when she made them, she was a good cook. I just wished Bren ate meat so he could try them.

I nodded as I kissed him on the lips, then the nose, "Ok, I'll go see what I can find," I smiled, walking towards the door, glancing back to smile at him over my shoulders then making my way back to his bed to kiss him again. This time I lingered longer, tasting the chicken on his lips, "You know, if meat tasted as good as it did on your lips..." I pulled back and winked, this time leaving the room for good.

Wandering into the kitchen, I smiled and waved at Ryan's parents. Thanking them for the pizza and allowing me to spend the night, I told them how happy I was they made it safely and to have Ryan back here again. They agreed and I announced that I was off to get some things before Ry and I were going to have a night of the movies.

I sighed as I walked upstairs to Ryan's room, grabbing every pillow I could find, then sifting through his movies. I was slightly tired so I grabbed a scary movie, a comedy and Queer as Folk. Then I went through my bag to get out a scary movie I purchased for him, and a couple Disney movies I brought.

Walking back down the stairs, I smiled at him as he nibbled on the chicken, eyes just glancing around the room. I cleared my throat and made a kissy face towards him before throwing the pillows down to share the movies, "Ok, so I've got Queer as Folk, Bambi, Aladdin, Joyride, Saw," I visibly shuddered, "And here is Cabin Fever, it's a scary movie, supposedly, but it has that cute boy, Rider Strong in it, I used to have the biggest crush on him when I watched reruns on the family channel, you know he's like 26 or something now?"

While Brendon went off to get the things we'd need for the night, I stayed relaxed, munching on my chicken and just enjoying how it tasted. I had missed homemade food. Alex and I would cook occasionally while in LA, but we didn't cook much and no matter what we did cook, it never came out like mom's. It never tasted quite as good, so we didn't do it often. Instead we would order food or go out for dinner, so having mom's homemade food was like a god-send.

I finished off another three pieces of chicken, since they were small, before Brendon walked back into the room with the pillows and movies. I grinned up at him and grabbed a few of the pillows when he tossed them down onto the bed. I put a few behind me and the body pillow under my leg to cushion it because something about it just didn't feel right. There were still a few more pillows for him so I wasn't worried about hogging them all, besides, I knew he'd be pressed up on me and using my pillows anyway.

Opening one of the sodas I got myself situated before he listed off all the movies he had for me to choose from. I shrugged a little and looked up at him. "Well...Why don't we save Queer as Folk for a little later and watch something else first? I'm not really in the mood for a really scary movie right now...and not really for a cartoon, so that means what, Joyride?" I raised my eyebrows at him and smiled. "Sound good for our first movie?"

I reached over and took another piece of chicken before offering him my can of soda to take a drink from it if he wanted. Mom had brought enough sodas for us both for the evening, and it was unlikely we'd need to restock while we watched movies. Although, I would possibly have to send Bren to raid the freezer for ice cream.

"OK! Joyride it is, but this is kinda scary," I shrugged, "But I've seen it enough that I only jump like ten times throughout," I grinned at him, then turned to get the movie ready. I fiddled around with the entertainment stuff, realizing that Steve had not set it up right. I sighed, putting my hand on the hip, cursing at it lightly. Turning back around, I walked over, threw my hands in the air then took the drink he offered me.

I chugged it a little then burped, excusing myself before shaking my head, "I can fix it, no problem, and no worries," I added a head nod before going back over to the tv. I grabbed the cords and tried to correct them right before peering over my shoulder, "Don't eat just chicken silly boy," I winked, "How about some fruit too?" I teased to him, "We don't want you to get all pudgy and unhealthy while that leg is out..."

Laughing at myself, I figured it out, clapping in excitement then walked over to him, "Although, you would look really sexy no matter what!" I nodded again, crawling into the bed next to him. I ran my fingers along his hipbone, "It would give me more to bite, and caress, and to hold onto when you're riding me," I smirked, "Or better yet, when you are making love to me..."

Reaching over, I grabbed some pizza, biting into it and moaning, "This pizza is amazing! Your mom should like, write a cook book or something," I smiled, placing a messy kiss on his cheek, only to finish the food that was in my mouth then lick the sauce off of him.

I chuckled as I watched him and shook my head. He was adorable and sweet, and I couldn't help but watch him. I was glad once he got it all set up, and the movie started and especially once he had climbed into bed with me, or onto the bed with me. "I don't wanna get fat though Bren. And I'm not gonna. Even being in this cast, I'm not gonna get fat, even if you want more to hold onto or whatever..." I shrugged a little and grabbed a piece of fruit. I liked fruit, it wasn't just because he said something.

"I've never seen this movie before...so...I dunno, we don't have to...but we can...I dunno, as long as you're here and as long as you're holding me...I really couldn't care what else was going on." I smiled at him and leaned over to kiss him softly. "But as far as the food goes...mom has some secrets she won't ever share with the world. She'll probably share them with me, but not with the world, so don't even think that. You'll just have to enjoy it when you come and visit."

Chuckling, I pressed a little closer to him and pulled his arm around me. "Mom'll cook for you anytime though." I played with his fingers a little as I looked over at the tv. "She'll probably cook for me and bring food to me when I'm back at school and living on my own there. And we both know you'll be there pretty much every night, so you'll get mom's delicious cooking. But yeah, her pizza is amazing, not as amazing as her chicken though, which is her specialty."

I tilted my head up and ran my nose along his jaw. I missed LA. It hit me suddenly and I couldn't help it. I missed LA, but seriously, I loved being with Brendon. Now if there was a way to combine both and not be wearing the cast, my life would have been perfect.

Taking a piece of fruit, I held it to Ryan's lips letting him eat it. Once I freed my hands, I licked my own lips, tasting him on them. Shit, I loved the taste of him. I loved everything about him. I really just loved him. I smiled at myself then him as I leaned over to kiss his cheek while he chewed. Glancing towards the tv, I watched it start as I grabbed his arm, putting it under my neck for a pillow and support as I gently laid my head on his side, just taking him in.

My fingers tickled down his sides as I rubbed my foot up his right leg, again, enjoying the feeling of him here and with me. I pitied him, really, because he was going to be stuck for the next few weeks, I mean, even with the crutches, he'd still be stuck to lie in a bed at night when he sleeps. I did, though, plan to be here with him as much as possible, so at least he wasn't stuck alone.

"I will, you know, be over at your place a lot, eat all the food your mom will cook me," I nuzzled my nose into his tshirt, peeking at the tv, "This is a really good movie though, and," I pointed to the screen, "As you can see, it has sexy Paul Walker in it, so, you can't go wrong there!" I grinned noticing the distance in his eyes. I could tell he was thinking.

Running my hand down his chin until he looked at me, "You miss it don't you? I mean, LA, the lifestyle, Alex, the music..." I knew what the answer would be, "Is there anything I can do to make it real for you here?"

My eyes focused on Brendon's, and I just looked at his face, the face of my boyfriend, the face of the one I loved. I knew I shouldn't miss what I didn't have anymore, but I couldn't help it. Yeah, I missed Alex and the life and LA. I missed knowing that I'd be working a show or going into the studio with a band that I could only dream of getting to interact with. I missed all of that and I just honestly couldn't help it. I didn't want Bren to think I wasn't happy with him though. I didn't want him to think I wanted LA more than I wanted him. In some ways I wanted them equally. In others I wanted him more.

"Yeah...I miss it. I can't help it. It’s what Alex and I dreamed of for so long. For it to suddenly be taken away from me when I had it...and for Alex to still be there...yeah...I miss it. I miss the apartment. I miss the city and the walk to the studio. Not that I could walk if I even wanted to, but...I miss it. And I'm jealous that Alex still has it and I don't. I mean, yeah, they're setting something up for me here, but it isn't the same. I'm not with all the guys in the apartment building. I'm not with Alex. I'm not in the studio I know now. I'm in Vegas and everything’s different from LA."

I shook my head a little and looked over at the tv. "I don't know if there’s anything you can do Bren. I think, in the end, I just have to get used to being home again. I'd go through this at the end of the internship anyway I guess. I think it’s just harder because of the circumstances of it...and the fact that Lex still is there doing it...I dunno. I just...I'm not sure. I'll be fine I think...just gotta get used to all of this I think."

I bit my lip a before tilting my head up a little and kissing him softly. "I'll be fine. It is home after all and I never had a problem with it before now. I'll get used to it. Don't worry, Bren, I'll be fine." I smiled and kissed him again before sighing softly. "I just wish the cast were off so I could snuggle with you properly."

I smiled as I leaned in and kissed him, "I know. I mean, I don't know, nor do I remotely know how you feel, but, um, just know that I care about you a whole hell of a lot and I will do anything and everything to help you cope with it. I mean, not make you forget it or anything, but like, I have my room, a guest room, and my sister is working at a camp this summer, so if the guys want to come and visit, my parents would be cool with boarding them up so all they have to pay for is gas..."

"And, um, if I am ever off work for like two days straight, I would love to take a road trip with you to LA to visit and see what's up. And, let's see," I tapped my mouth, "You can come to our band practice, and we'll play covers of bands you worked with. And I'll make Spencer wear tight tight pants, and eyeliner and even a shirt with a bat on it..." I bit my lip, "And Steve looks cute in his glasses, I'm sure we can get him in a hat and dance and kick while he sings like Trick..."

"OH! and James SO played the guitar on his back the other day, like on the ground like Frank, so we can make it happen, it'll be fun!" I clapped my hands, grabbing some fruit and popping it in my mouth before doing the same to him, "The guys will love it! It will be nice down time while we are practicing hard core for the warped! Oh, I'm so excited, so, like Sunday, can I pick you up and take you over to practice, hell, I could get a wagon and we could make a day event, I'll come pick you up after service, we'll pack a lunch, and I'll walk you over to Spence's It's only like ten blocks, right?"

Yikes, I was getting extremely hyper. I wasn't sure if it was due to the lack of sleep, the ideas I was passing around in my head, or the fact that Ryan was actually sitting right here in front of me. Either way, I was so happy!

Reaching up, I pulled his lips to mine and kissed him, almost hard, before pulling back and murmuring. "Bren...you guys don't have to do all of that, you really really don't...but thank you so much for even offering. Maybe I can talk to the label and see if they could sponsor a 'field trip' of some of the interns up here to the studio I'll be working with so they can taste another studio and see how it is done there...maybe it'll all work out somehow...but thank you."

My lips twisted and my voice dropped. "Spence in tight-tight pants and eyeliner huh? I think that I'd like to actually see, so I'm behind that one for sure." I chuckled softly and closed my eyes, just letting my fingers touch whatever parts of Bren were readily accessible to them. "Everything else...well, you don't have to take it too far. Really." I opened my eyes again and looked up at him. "I’m gonna be fine here. It is home after all."

Tilting my head up again, I kissed him softly. "I love you Bren. I love you for even suggesting all of that. I'm so lucky that you're mine..." I licked my lips and bit the bottom one gently as I looked at my amazing boyfriend in front of me. I really was lucky. I'd be even luckier if I didn't have the cast taking up my leg and being like two of me in addition to me.

I turned my attention back to the tv, realizing I'd already missed the beginning, and we were doing our normal not watching the movie. It didn't bother me that much, I was pretty sure neither of us would make it through all the movies that he brought with him anyway. Shifting a little, I sat up and took another sip from my soda before handing it over to Bren. "But, yeah, I'll go to practice on Sunday. I think it'd be fun."

"No thanks, I think I've had enough caffeine for an entire week," I smiled, taking the drink and setting next to me before picking up another piece of fruit, "There is a reason why I work at a fruit smoothie place and not like McDonalds or like some place that sells a ton of soda," I winked at him.

I sighed, stretching a little as I pulled him closer to me, "I love you too Ry," I whispered, but knew he heard me. I was correct in saying that the hyperness was just a spell as I nuzzled into him more, paying slight attention to the movie, but more to the wrinkles in his shirt, "Yea, Spence has been experimenting with different size pants lately," I laughed, which turned into a yawn. My fingers continued until they involuntarily slowed and rested it on a spot right below his nipple, my thumb began to graze it.

Glancing over at the clock, I shook my head, "Shit, it's not even 9 o'clock and I'm already wore out, maybe if I just take a short nap and we can watch something..." I didn't even finish the sentence when I curled into him more, my eyes blindly focused on the screen, knowing it was Paul Walker and Steve Zahn, but not really knowing what they were doing.

I let my body relax against his as I listened to his heart beating, the DVD filtering in the background, "Just a quick nap..." I repeated as I pressed my lips to the only skin I could reach, not even bothering to open my eyes and see what it was.