Title:This is bullshit (9/?)</>
Authors: howido_fics & youbrat
Pairing:Brendon/Ryan</>
Rating:R</>
Summary:Movie and afterparty?</>
Disclaimer:*sigh*</>
Author’s Note:It’s a co-write. I am Brendon, youbrat is Ryan.</>
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We made it into the theater, grabbed some Sour Patch Kids, Dots, a small popcorn and two drinks before giving our tickets to the guy and heading down the dark lit hallway.

The hallways at these places always freak me out or it could be the weird lighting.

Oh no wait, it’s the fact that I am about to see a scary-ass movie.

Do you think Ryan would notice if I told him I needed to take a piss, and I missed the whole movie?

I walked with him into the theater and glanced around. "Well, I don't think we'll have a very hard time finding a place to sit. So pick a seat."

I smiled over at him as I took a sip of my soda and waited for him to lead me to where he wanted to sit.

Why do I always have to make the decisions?

Oh, I know, I’m the man in the relationship!

HAHA!

“Um,” noticing that we were pretty much alone in the place, I headed towards the complete middle sectioned seats, “Is this ok?” I asked after I had already sat down and my drink was in the cup holder.

I hope so, cause I’m situated!

I laughed softly and nodded, putting my drink into the holder and sitting down, propping my feet up on the back of the seat in front of me before looking over at him.

"Yep, this is perfect, not too high, not too close, but perfect for seeing the whole screen, just where I would have picked. "

I smiled, grabbing a few kernels of popcorn and wondering if this whole thing was going to stay more of a friends thing or turn into more of a date.

Once I got settled, I followed Ryan’s steps of putting my feet on the back of the chair in front of us just as the lights darkened, and a the previews started.

I was about the hold my ears, this shit is always too loud.

And you know, scary movies equal scary previews. I’m bound to piss my pants before the opening credits...

I looked over at Ryan, he absentmindedly grabbed popcorn and placed it in his mouth, eyes glued to the screen.

His features looked so cute, even with the eerie blue glow from the screen.

I had been looking forward to seeing The Descent for a while, and it wasn't in many theaters anymore, so I was excited to actually get to see it before it was pulled and had to wait until it came out on DVD. I snuggled more down into the chair, smiling a little to myself as the lights dimmed, and the previews started. It was always good seeing what was coming up soon, but part of me just wanted them to get through so that the movie would start.

About halfway through the previews I glanced over at Brendon and smiled to myself, leaning over to murmur. "Are you really going to be okay Brendon?"

I gulped and shook my head, nearly screaming as some chick about got taken out by a man with a hatchet.

DAMN PREVIEWS!

Pouting, I looked over to Ryan, shaking my knees until my right collided with his left, then kept it there.

What? I need to make sure he is still there during the movie, so you know, in case he gets sucked under the chair by the monster or something...

I laughed softly and shook my head. "Brendon, its a preview. Maybe we shouldn't have chosen this movie. I mean, I've wanted to see it, but if you can't handle scary movies, we can go try and sneak in to one of the other movies so you don't have to be so scared."

I smiled a little as I felt his knee against mine and moved my soda to the arm to my right, testing the armrest between us to see if it moved up.

It moved all the way back.

"Does that make it any better?"

Looking down, he moved the resty thing between us, and I couldn’t help but smile, I looked back up and met his eyes, “Perfect.”

And it was, until the place got completely black, signifying the start of the movie.

I kept my knee against his as the film began to roll.

I nodded and smiled, turning back to the movie, taking another bite of the popcorn as the introduction started. I tilted the bag over toward Brendon and asked him softly if he'd like any as I reached over to grab my drink beside me.

I glanced over at him as the movie started, chuckling quietly to myself because I could tell he was already scared.

Why am I here? Why are we watching this?

Fuck, I am already scared, and it is just the beginning...

I can handle this. I can handle this.

I mean, it’s just a movie. Who cares if my parents are planning a vacation to go to Mammoth Caves or something...this can’t happen, it can’t be real...

Seriously! WHY ARE YOU GETTING INTO THE CAR and WHY ARE NOT WATCHING THE ROAD?

And...

I screamed like a girl.

Grabbing whatever I could next to me.

I gasped when the car crash, and blood was shown on screen and then I laughed when I felt Brendon grab me, and the popcorn pretty much went flying.

"You okay?"

I turned and looked at him, trying to keep my eyes on the movie while checking on Brendon at the same time. He was so utterly cute when he was scared, but part of me was thinking that I should take him home so he didn't get nightmares after all.

I nodded, why did I have to be such a wuss?

And even more so, why didn’t I bring a jacket so I could cover my eyes?

“I’m fine,” removing my hand, which was placed on his thigh, I dusted off the popcorn I must have hit in the process, “Let’s just watch the movie, ok? I don’t want you to miss it...”

I laughed softly and nodded, moving the popcorn to my other hand so that he wouldn't hit it next time he flipped out.

"If you want popcorn, just ask, okay?"

I laughed softly and shook my head, turning back to the movie and watching as Sarah and another girl drove through the woods and talked, obviously what was probably going to be the only 'down' part of the movie in my opinion.

“Ok,” I whispered as he turned back to the movie.

I hope he was enjoying it, cause honestly, I’d rather watch him than any damn movie. I even enjoyed the way he chewed, you know how some people eat like a horse, all teeth, and gums smacking, he eats, like, like a snake or something. Slow and silent.

Good thing too, I hate when I can HEAR people eating in theaters. It is so distracting. Or maybe I am just anal.

Hey! Watch it!

I sighed softly as I relaxed in the chair, my fingers playing absentmindedly with the edge of my chair cushion beneath me.

Feeling like I was being watched I turned back and looked at Brendon with my eyebrows raised a little. "You okay?"

I smiled, “Yeah, just enjoying the view.”

I yawned, pulling the whole: stretch and over the shoulder thing, trying to turn my attention to the movie.

Damn forest! Run away! Go back to the city!

I smirked a little when he did the majorly cliché move of yawn and stretch, but I didn't say anything. I took another drink from my soda as the girls arrived at a cabin, and I sighed as I thought about the whole night. I wasn't sure how it was going. We got in an argument, and now we were in a scary movie, and he hadn't fully jumped into my lap yet, but that didn't mean it was going to happen.

I bit my lip a little as I watched the screen, very aware of how close he was even though I wasn't acknowledging it.

I scooted in closer to him, which maybe wasn’t the smartest idea..since he wasn’t responding, but at least I felt comforted enough to put my eyes back on screen.

I yawned, it had been a hard day at school, plus, I had a test, so I got up early to study in the library with Amanda, and this part of the movie was slow and boring.

I’ll close my eyes for just a second, I promise.

I looked over at him after he moved in closer and smiled when I saw his eyes closed. I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair softly before murmuring against his ear.

"Maybe I should take you home to bed instead of the movie? You seem tired Brendon. I wouldn't want you to fall asleep in the middle of a scary movie and have horrible nightmares."

I sat up, “No, no, I was, I was just resting my eyes, I'm watching, waiting for something exciting to happen, I promise! Don’t worry about me, I’m a big boy, I’ll be fine!”

To convince him, and me, I pulled away from him, taking a drink of my Coke before dropping my feet off the chair in front of me, placing my hands on my lap, and gluing my eyes to the screen.

I chuckled softly and shook my head, taking a sip of my own soda before looking up at the screen. I smiled and rested back against the chair and then decided to just give in. I wrapped my arm around his shoulders and murmured a soft 'c'mere' before returning my attention to the screen, smiling softly to myself.


I leaned into him.

He smelled good.

Really good.

A smell I could get used to smelling.

Ok, I hope I’m not freaking him out, but either he is wearing Axe or something, or I have to know his fabric softener!

I grinned a little to myself as the girls on screen started making their way through the cave they were inside, and I was just waiting for the next thing to happen on the screen. If he was watching I knew he'd be terrified of whatever it was. I had talked to my friends who had already seen the movie, they told me there were a lots of things to jump about in the movie, and a bit of gore too, but that it was a good movie. Although probably not a good date movie.

I looked at Brendon out of the corner of my eye before shaking my head slightly and pretending not to pay much attention to him.

I whimpered.

Why do they have to go in the cave? It is cold and wet and creepy as all get out.

At least Ryan’s arm was protecting me. Or holding me in place...I dunno. Did he know I wanted to run and hide? And why does it have to be so damn dark in here?

My fingers moved slightly over his shoulder as we watched the movie, and things started to get tense, things moving in the shadows, Sarah seeing things, and instinctively I tightened my grip a little on Brendon's shoulder. I didn't want him to be scared, and I rested my head gently against his. He made cute sounds, but I didn't want him to whimper through the whole movie.

I turned and looked at Ryan. I could tell he was trying to comfort me.

But really...CREATURES!

“I’m ok, really...” I stated, leaning into him more.

I laughed softly and shook my head, murmuring softly. "Of course you are Brendon."

I smiled and continued watching the movie, murmuring to him to hide whenever I just knew there was a scary scene coming up.

He warned me, and I put my hands up to my face, peering through my open fingers.

I hate the music. Hate it. It’s like the damn ‘Jaw’s theme or something.

Snuggling up to him even more, I peered out as some girl...

I screamed. Again...

I chuckled softly and smiled to myself, loving the movie, and especially loving how he was curling up against me. I held him close against me as the movie got graphic and probably more scary than anything he'd ever seen, and I held him even closer.

I moved my other arm so I could wrap both my arms around him, holding him against me and murmuring. "Its just a movie."

I was liking this. I was liking this a lot.

The movie? Screw scary movies.

Ryan was wrapped around me, and it was nice. He cared about me enough to hold me, and that was a feeling that I could definitely get used to.

Moving my head, I smiled at him, “I know, it’s just...so realistic...and gross,” I nuzzled my nose in his neck, lightly running my bottom lip against it, sighing deeply, and turning my attention back to the screen.

I felt myself shiver at the feeling of his lip and nose against my neck, and my eyes drooped for a moment before I forced myself to look back at the screen. I was about ready to get out of there and get him back to my dorm. Things were obviously different from the last time we'd seen each other, and now I wanted to enjoy the closeness.

I smirked when I thought he shuddered. I’m glad I could repay him for the comfort he has given me.

I reached over and rubbed his arm that was snug around me. Lightly walking my fingers along it as I drew my attention to the screen, yet again.

I smiled to myself and looked down at Brendon and turned my head to press a light kiss to his hair, not sure what drew me to do so, but I wanted to, so I went with it. I turned back to watch the end of the movie, the gory fight to get out of the cave and sighed with relief when Sarah made it back to the truck.

The credits started to play, and I turned to look at Brendon, still having him in my arms, and smiled, slowly moving one of my arms back.

"Are you ready to head out?"

“Mmm, no, stay,” I mumbled into his neck.

I was comfortable. It was nice and chilly in here, and I didn’t want to go back out in the humidity.

Let alone back out to awkwardness.

We seemed to always do that, get to an ok point, then I open my mouth and fuck it up. I liked how is it right here, right now. But, I could stand to get the hell out of the place. I sat up, “Yeah, let’s go...” I stood up, “You know, the movies really wasn’t that scary...”

I laughed softly and shook my head. "Uh huh, that is why your face was in my shoulder and neck the entire time they were in the cave."

I grinned and shook my head as I stood up, gathering our trash and carrying it down to the trash bins.

"Do you need to drive yourself and follow me back to the dorms? Or are you riding with me?"

Following him out of the theater, I thought of the best thing for the car situation. I definitely wanted my car there, incase I have to flee!

“Um, I’ll follow you. In case, you know, my mom calls and needs me home extra early so you can sleep or something.”

Sure Brendon...ramble again!

I nodded a little. "If you lose me while we are on the way over just give me a call. You know how to get to the campus at least, so you can at least get to it if we lose each other."

I smiled softly but frowned inside because I knew it was a getaway plan, and I wondered if things were going that badly that he really needed a getaway plan.

"I'm in the red Honda Civic that's right there."

“Ok,” I looked over to where he was pointing, “I won’t lose you, just don’t run any read lights!”

I smirked. He didn’t seem like a reckless driver, but you never know.

“I’ll see you when we get there then,” I reached in my pocket for my keys.

I nodded and smiled, pulling my keys from my pocket. "Okay. See you there."

I walked over to my car, thoughts running rampant in my head as I tried to figure out what the hell was going on and if this was all as bad as the getaway plan implied. Sighing I got into my car and pulled out, waiting for him to follow me before I headed back to campus, making sure to keep him in my rear view mirror.

Welcome to my stomach, butterflies, I hope you enjoy the stay...cause it’s gonna be a long night...

I hopped in my car, pulling up next to him, popping in a cd to play my anthem of the night: Motion City Soundtrack’s “Everything is Alright”

I pulled out onto the road to the campus, glad that the theater and campus aren't far apart because this felt weird, being in two different cars. I was still not sure that this was actually a date, or if it was more two friends hanging out together.

I turned my music up to try and distract me from the thoughts going through my head as I approached the campus. I made sure he was still there as I turned onto the campus and headed up to the dorm in the back, pulling into one of the free spots.

Parking next to him, I got out and grabbed my messenger bag from the back seat, closing the doors, and locking them with the key pad.

I hopped up to the sidewalk next to him where he waited for me, grabbing his hand for him to lead me into the dorm. “You ready?” I asked, smiling at him.

I got out and waited for him to pull in and park, and I laughed when he grabbed my hand. I allowed myself to lace my fingers with his before I nodded.

"Of course I am. The dorm will probably be pretty quiet until late tonight. Most people are celebrating the first half of exams being done and are probably out partying. So you don't have real dorm life chaos for a while most likely."

I smiled and walked him into the dorm, leading him through the building and upstairs to the second floor and down the hall to my door. I released his hand long enough to open the door.

"This is mine..."

I sniffed the air.

Damn, these places are nasty...smells like a boy, and not a clean one. I mean, yeah, I’m a boy, but I don’t smell like a dirty sock.

Following him into the building, our hands remained intwined until we got to his room. He was right, it is really quiet.

I guess we’ll have to make some noise...

"Wow," I walked in, "One bed..."

I laughed softly as I followed him in.

"Yeah, one bed. When my roommate never showed up I put everything else into storage and moved in more of my stuff."

I shrugged a little and closed the door, walking over to the dresser and putting my wallet and keys on it.

"It isn't much, but it has been my own little haven since I got here, so its good enough for me."

“No,” I looked around the bare room, “I like it. It’s a typical dorm room, not much you can expect there, I guess.”

I walked over and thumbed through his cds that were sitting out.

“Tom Waits...Isn’t that the guy that sounds like Cookie Monster?”

"It isn't usually this bare. But I have been packing already since term is almost over. I figured I'd have it mostly packed up before my exams were over."

I shrugged a little at what he said about the music.

"I have no idea what you're talking about Brendon."

I shrugged and went over to the mini fridge beside my bed. "Do you want anything to drink? I have some sodas and water."

Putting the cd back down, I walked over to him.

“Yeah, a water would be nice, my mouth is all dry and stuff from the soda,” I grabbed the bottle from him, “And we wouldn’t want that, would we?” I winked before plopping on the bed.

Bouncing on it a little, I smiled, “Oh, soft! I like this comforter too, did you get it at Target? And the sheets that matched?”

I laughed softly as he was suddenly mister chatterbox and social, I guess that was because it was just the two of us instead of being out in public. I stood up with my own bottle of water and opened it, taking a drink as I regarded him. I really wasn't sure what the night was supposed to turn into with him there. He had said about being scared to be with me, and now that he saw I had only one bed I didn't know if he'd decide to leave, after all, he did have his getaway plan.

I shook my head a little. "No, I didn't get it at Target, I found it online, where I buy most of my things, for the room and just for whatever."

I shrugged a little and took another sip of water, my lips twisting slightly. "And the sheets don't match."

Crossing my legs, “Mine match, definitely, well,” I blushed, “My mom picked them out, so you know...”

I patted the spot next to me, “Have a seat, you are making my nervous or something.”

Ok, yeah, Bren, you already are..hence why your ADD is kicking in...

Just hope you don’t do that whole eye twitching thing. That can be distracting.

I laughed softly and shook my head. "Well, I picked out my own stuff. I guess they could kinda match, but they weren't bought to specifically match."

I shrugged and walked over to the stereo, plugging in my ipod and setting it to shuffle before turning back to him.

"I dunno what you wanna do. I have music, of course, and movies. I could walk you around campus if you want too."

“Neh, I’ve seen campus enough. Especially after last week....”

I cringed. Dammit Brendon, don’t bring up stupid things!

I yawned, “I’m actually kinda tired, maybe we could watch a movie, or like, listen to music and get to know each other or something...”

"Well, whatever you want."

I shrugged again and smiled, turning over to the box that held all my movies so he wouldn't see the little cringe from his mention of last week. I picked up the box and carried it over to the bed.

"This is what I have for movies, if that's what you want to do. If not we can just let my ipod run..."

Scrunching up my nose: scary, scary, horror, scary, musicals...

“I think I’ve seen enough movies for the night. I like this song, how about we listen to music, and we can make our plans for next Saturday. You are still coming to the prom with me, right?”

Um, note to Brendon...that is in the public...shit!

I nodded a little, moving the box aside and plopping down at the head of my bed, leaning back against the pillows.

"Yeah, I guess. If you still want me to. So it really is up to you Brendon. I mean...you didn't exactly want to be seen with me tonight. Is anything going to change between now and next Saturday? Something tells me no."

I sighed.

“But like you said, people could, well, would just think we are friends. I know,” I moved closer to him, “It’s kinda stupid, I mean, we hardly know each other, but, like I said, I am going with my friend’s girlfriend, and I just really don’t want to go alone. Not that you would be just a person going along..”

I fell back on the bed, “I’m done. I promise,” shaking my head.

"Brendon, if you aren't ready to be out around people, that's fine, I told you that already. But if you're having me there as your date, but don't want to be seen with me as your date, then why am I going as your date just seemingly with your friend? I guess I'm kinda confused what you really want. You talk all big, but in the end, when it comes down to it, you don't want what you talk about."

He was right. Completely right.

I curled to my side. Why does he have to be right? All the time?

This was a mistake. This is a mistake. I am so young and stupid, and I don’t know.

“I want you to go with me, if you will go with me, but if you don’t want to go with me, then that is fine. But I will probably not slow dance with you, cause I am not ready for that. But I want you to be there, if you will be there, if not, I will go alone. But I would rather you go with me. And once it is over, we can go to your house like we discussed. I am sorry, I am new to this, and I have no clue what I am doing, And I know I say things before I think about it. And I know I am leading you on in some ways, but you can guide me and direct me. I’ll accept your help, I just want to be around you, and I just wish I had the same confidence in front of you that I had on the phone, but when I am with you...I turn into a bowl of jello or pudding or something...” Breathe Brendon breathe!

I chewed softly on my lip a little, looking at him and taking in what he just said. It made sense, but at the same time I didn't want to be a mentor in how to be gay, I wanted a relationship.

"I already said I would go with you Brendon. I told you I would. But honestly, if you do not want to be seen like that with me, maybe it is better if we view Saturday as your friend going with your other friend instead of me going with you. Saying it that way makes it seem like a date, and it won't be a date if I won't be there with you."

“I know. That is what I want. In public.”

I sat up on my knees, “But why is it that right now all I want to do is kiss you, and touch you, and feel you?”

I chewed on my lip as I looked at him. I wished that things hadn't gotten so serious, but he did bring up Saturday, and now suddenly he was on a different topic. I was starting to wonder if this kid was on a major sugar high, or had ADHD or ADD or something like that. He was going to drive me crazy at this rate jumping from topic to topic.

I tilted my head to the side a little. "Brendon..." I sighed and shook my head. "Just turning to kissing me and touching me isn't going to just suddenly make the elephant in the room go away."

“SHIT!” I jumped off the bed, “What time is it?”

I ran over to the clock by the head of his bed and shrieked at the time. Almost midnight!

Running back over to my bag, I pulled out my pill bottle, removing one and popping it in my mouth before grabbing my water off the bed and swallowing it.

I raised my eyebrows as I watched him. I decided the kid had to be a bit crazy because I really did not understand what was going on.

"Okay, so, you are a druggie now? What the hell Brendon?"

I pulled my legs up and wrapped my arms around them as I watched him, almost suspiciously because this was just damn weird in my opinion.

Pulling at my shirt, I sat down again, ok, maybe that did look a little weird running around like a chicken with my head cut off, but that’s what happens when I don’t get my meds.

“No, I mean, yeah, drugs, but it is my Ritalin, I have to take it at 10pm every night or I get all weird and spacey and talky and stuff...”

Yeah, kinda like I am now...nice!

"Uh huh. So...you really are all ADD, and you're going to be like this all the time?"

I frowned a little. Okay, things definitely changed in that moment of learning the kid to Ritalin. It really made me feel like he was a kid in many ways. Weren't you supposed to stop taking Ritalin at some point? I thought I had learned something in my Psych classes about after a certain age Ritalin having the opposite effect than what it had in kids. This was probably going to be a really interesting evening.

“Yeah, well, not as long as I take the pill. I mean, it is like 24 hour released or something, like the lightest dose you can take, but my mom freaked out when I wasn’t paying attention in class, so she got me on this stupid shit. Only three more weeks of it though, and I am done.”

I’m probably freaking him out. Dammit, and all this talk about my mom, I am such a fucking two year old. With a grown up body and bad mouth...

“So, yeah, sorry if I freaked you out, but it’s that crazy ass chemical thing, that once you are on it, you have to keep being on it or it messes with you, and if I don’t take it, I get all weird and stuff. You know, ADD like...”

"Uh huh, and when they take you off it in three weeks? Is that what you're going to be like all the time? Because that's just fucking weird and creepy Brendon."

I chewed on my lip a little, taking another drink of water as I looked over at him.

Yep, I was freaking him out...

“No, the doctors said once the pill is out of my system, I will be back to normal, whatever the hell that might be. Look, if I’m freaking you out, I can just go home,” I looked at the clock again, “Cause these pills are gonna start working in like a half an hour, and that will give me enough time to get home before they make me drowsy.”

I frowned a little as I chewed on my lip, still just watching him. I knew a few people with ADD, it didn't freak me out, just made things weird when they were like he had just been, and I had no idea that he was ADD, or anything close or at least had to be on meds for something, it just took me by surprise.

I shook my head. "You aren't freaking me out. Just...surprised me. I didn't expect you to be like that."

Staring at my shoes, “Yeah, well, everyone’s not perfect...”

Ok, don’t start up...don’t do it!

Making eye contact with him again, “So, I hope that explains any weirdness on my part, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. If I had my pills, it would have been ok. Really, I usually am, and not to bring up the other night, but I hadn’t taken them that night either...so, things happen, but you can ask Spencer, I am fine as can be when I do take them.”

I laid back on his bed, “But, I am getting tired,” I yawned, “And I would like to stay...”

"No, everyone is not perfect Brendon. I never said I was. I just didn't expect it. I wish you had told me sooner. It isn't like I don't know people who are on or have been on the same shit."

I got up and went to put the bottle of water back into the fridge. "Obviously I only have one bed. So if you want...you can take the bed, I've got a sleeping bag I can use on the floor."

I scooted towards the headboard, flush with the right side of the bed, “I think there is plenty room for the both of us,” I smirked, “And I promise I’m not contagious!”

I frowned a little in light of everything that just happened. "Are you sure that's what you want?"

I bit my lip and kinda looked at the bed, luckily it was a tiny bit bigger than a normal twin bed, but it was still very small. I hadn't had anyone else try to sleep in it with me before, although, I had slept in twin sized beds with guys in the past, but it was usually after sex.

“Only if you want to, I mean, it is ridiculous for you to sleep on the linoleum floor when there is a bed right here, and Lord knows I’m not going to, but if you aren’t ready, or you don’t think I am, then I can just go home...”

But I don’t want to...

"I'm not kicking you out Brendon. I just...you said you were scared to be alone with me. And now not only are you going to be alone with me, you're going to be in bed with me. Me, I'm fine with it. I've shared beds with enough guys to not have an issue with sharing one with you, but if you aren't ready...as I said before, I'm not going to force you."

I walked over to the closet and kicked my shoes off, shoving them inside. "Really, I don't want to make things more awkward."

I laughed, sheepishly, “Could this get anymore awkward? Well, not awkward, but just so damn filled with feelings and emotions and,” I threw my hands up, “I don’t know... I’m not so afraid anymore, really, and it is just a bed, nothing has to happen, we can sleep back to back...just as friends or whatever, and I trust you not to do or try anything,” I stood up, pulling off my shirt while kicking off my shoes, “Even though, you are so experienced and all...” I smirked.

"Yeah, well, I'm a lot more experienced then you are Brendon. That doesn't mean that I am going to take advantage of you though."

I shook my head and glanced at the door. "You have to use the common bathroom just down the hall though. I didn't get lucky enough to get my own bathroom, unfortunately. So we have a common bathroom and then a common shower room. I gotta go brush my teeth, so if you want me to show you where I can.”

“Sure,” I grabbed my bag, heading towards the bathroom with him.

He began brushing his teeth as I pulled out my contact case, I winked, “Oh, I’m sorry, I haven’t told you, but I wear contacts, I hope that isn’t a problem,” I playfully bit my tongue at him before turning towards the mirror and removing my contacts, then too brushing my teeth, taking a piss, and washing my face and hands.

I laughed softly and shook my head. "Brendon, I don't expect you to have told me everything. I'm sorry that the whole Ritalin thing surprised me. That doesn't mean I'm going to be upset because you haven't told me that you wear contacts."

I shrugged a little and smiled as I brushed my teeth and then ran water over my face, scrubbing just a little at my eyes to try to get some of the eyeliner off. I moved the stomach of my shirt up and pat my face dry because I forgot to bring my towel.

"Are you done in here? Or should I meet you back in my room?"

“I know, I was just kidding with you Ryan, seriously...”

I watched as he pulled up his shirt to wipe his face. Nice...

Biting my lip, “Yeah, I’m done,” I followed him back to his room, placing my stuff on an empty chair, turning to face the bed, looking from him to it.

I closed the door and locked it behind us once we were back in my room. "Don't think I'm being weird about locking the door, its kinda a habit of mine. If anyone comes into the dorm drunk I don't want them accidentally stumbling into my room and thinking my bed is theirs."

I shrugged a little and smiled before trying to decide if I should actually put on pajama or go ahead with sleeping in boxers.

Laughing, “Don’t worry, hell, I lock my bedroom door when I go to bed,” I undid my belt and let my pants fall to the floor before pulling off my socks, picking them both up and folding them over my chair.

I curse myself for wearing boxer briefs, but boxers get all bunchy when I where those pants, so sometimes you gotta sacrifice your manliness. If I have any...

“You take left or right side?”

I watched him strip and bit my lip. So this was definitely happening, he was definitely sleeping in my bed, and sleeping in boxer briefs. I shrugged a little as I undid my pants and shoved them off my hips, exposing my own black boxer briefs.

"It doesn't really matter to me. There isn't much by way of sides in a twin sized bed. Maybe I should have kept the other mattress in here."

I frowned a little and shrugged. "Take whichever, against the wall or against the edge."

“Cool, I’ll take the edge then,” I walked over to his bed, waiting for him to get in, “You want the main light off so we don’t have to get up later and get it?”

I was kind of afraid of the dark to. What can I say, I am one of those kids on Dr. Phil or Oprah that is afraid of everything. But Ryan will protect me, right?

"Yeah, you can turn on the lamp beside the bed, its fine." I moved over and turned off the overhead light after he had turned on the lamp. I crawled up onto the bed before remembering my shirt was wet and, since I hated sleeping clothed anyway, I got up, tugged it off and tossed it to the floor at the foot of the bed before pulling the blankets back and climbing in.

"You're sure you want the edge?"

I watched his body move and flex as he got into bed. I think he just asked something.

“Huh?” I shook my head, “Oh, yeah, I drank a lot of soda, I’ll have to piss like eight times tonight.”

I cracked my knuckles, well, this is it. I smiled before climbing into the bed with him adjusting myself under the covers.

I laughed softly and nodded. "Ah, okay, well, you know where the bathroom is now and all, so just make sure you lock the door again when you come back in. I don't wanna be raped in my sleep."

I smiled over at him and nestled down into my bed, looking over at him in the close quarters of my bed, he was so close, but I wanted to be cautious with him.

I laughed, “Me neither.”

Well, unless it was him.

Did I just think that? I hope I didn’t say it out loud. He kept talking about all these guys he had slept with, what is he a year older than me?

I turned to my side, placing my head in my palm, “So, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but when was the first time you had sex, I mean, male or female, I mean, if you have ever even been with a girl...”

I laughed softly and turned onto my side as well, looking over at him.

"I tried with a girl once. I was sixteen. It wasn't worth it. Nothing about her or being with her interested me at all. After that I was all about guys, not about girls at all."

I nodded, understanding what he said as I looked over his features. This was the closest we had been since we kissed, and then, well, my eyes were closed. But he was really nice looking. I mean, he had fair skin and big bright eyes. And I loved the way his hair flopped over his eye.

He didn’t answer my question though, “So, guys?”

"My first?" I licked my lips and shrugged a little, smiling to myself. "My first was probably a mistake, but I was seventeen, and he was the hottest guy I had thought I had ever seen, and he wanted me. At least, he wanted me for the night, he didn't want me for anything else. So it kinda was a disappointment, not the sex, that wasn't at all, but afterwards."

“Yeah,” I twisted my lips, looking at the sheet between us. It was soft...

“See, that’s what I am afraid of, and kind of the reason I have waited. it’s just weird, I mean, we are a year apart age wise, but you seem so much more, I dunno, experienced and wiser than me, and I know just one year of college couldn’t do that,” I shrugged, toying with the sheet, “I guess I’m sheltered. I’ll thanks my parents for that...”

"Brendon, I've been with a lot of guys. More than I probably should have in the two years between my first and now. I've had more experiences than I would wish on anyone probably. Don't get me wrong, each and every one was safe, and I'm healthy and all...but having sex however and whenever wasn't the smartest thing. It isn't always a bad thing to be somewhat sheltered. Although if you don't experience some of it now, when you're in college you could get yourself in trouble."

I gulped.

That’s some scary shit. I don’t wanna be a whore, not that I am saying he is. But still. Doesn’t anyone just find someone, fall in love, and then have sex anymore. I mean, yeah, I have thought about having sex with Ryan, but I would never do it.

No wonder homosexuals get a bad name, they are sex maniacs. I wonder if he was, if he is, I guess I am a waste of time...

“So,” I twisted the sheet in my fingers, “Is that what you want, I mean, would you, like, settle for a guy? Or do you like having different guys?”

"You're adorable when you're unsure, you know that?"

Smiling softly and reaching up to brush the hair from his eyes. "And the answer is no. I do not need to have a bunch of different guys. More like....I did...I have...I've had causal sex with different guys. It doesn't mean that that is what I like or who I am or what I'm into."

I looked into his face and just watched him a little. "I could go for a relationship, a real relationship, I don't have to have casual sex...it can be exciting at the time, but not after."

I sighed, leaning into his hand a little.

“Ok, good, cause I’m not looking for casual sex, and I mean, I’m not expecting to fall in love in like two days either, but, I want to be with someone and build some substance with someone, not just sex. As good as I heard it is, I want more than that. And like you said, there are plenty other things we could do besides having sex,” I bit my lip again, looking at his hand. Reaching forward, I traced my finger along it, “So, now we are on the same page, I guess,” I asked before making eye contact.

"I told you already Brendon, I'm not going to force you to do anything. And I mean that. Even if I wanted sex, I'm not the type to make you. So it isn't a problem. Okay? If you're as horny as you come off to me, but are content with your hand, I'm okay with that. For now at least. I can't say that I won't eventually want more. Because lets face it, I've had sex, I love it, and I want to have it more. But...I can wait, for now."

I smiled softly. "And there certainly are a lot more things to do before actually having sex."

I copied his smile, “I know, I know Ryan, I heard you, and like I said, I trust you.”

I gulped, chills ran up and down my body at the thought of what I was about to do, well ask...

“Like, if I were to kiss you?”

I had to smile, how could I not when he was essentially asking if he could kiss me. It was so damn cute.

"Brendon, you do not have to ask to kiss me."

I blushed. Ok, I officially felt like an idiot. I thought you were supposed to ask, I mean, that’s what they did in the movies. Plus, I didn’t want him to freak out and throw me off of the bed or something.

“Sorry,” I muttered tracing his fingers yet again.

"Don't apologize Brendon. But to be honest, if you were to want to try different things with a guy...I'm probably the one to try with. And you don't have to ask, or be shy about it with me. Okay?"

I smiled softly, trying to ignore the butterflies in my stomach or anything else. I still found it a little odd that we were doing what we were already, that he was in my bed, but it did fit in well with what I used to be like, but at the same time it wasn't like we were already naked and going at each other, so it was also very different.

This is it. I can do! He gave me the green light! I can kiss him right? I should kiss him right? i think I’ll kiss him, hopefully..right...

Placing my hand on his side, I leaned forward, closed my eyes, and hoped I’d reach the right target.

I kept my eyes open to watch him move in, a smile on my lips as I licked them softly, feeling his hand on my side as I waited.

Our nosed collided, but I moved quickly to the left to cover the mess up as I placed my lips on his. I tightened my hand on his side as I scooted my body closer, nipping at his bottom lip.

I smiled softly and whispered "If you're going to kiss me Brendon, kiss me already."

Fuck. This was it!

I pushed him onto his back, not removing my lips from his as I stayed on my side, sucking his bottom lip again into my mouth, this time catching it between my teeth.

Fuck, this is it. I am doing it!

I slid my hand up along his arm and up and into his hair, pulling his lips a little tighter against mine and kissing him a little deeper. I should have asked him if he had ever kissed someone before I just let him kiss me. I parted my lips a little, trying to encourage him a little to just go for it and not be too shy as I threaded my fingers deeper into his hair.

Turning my body so it was not leaning on him, I slid my leg between his, giving myself balance as he gripped my hair. I kept my hand rubbing his side as I followed his lead by lightly stick my tongue into his open mouth.

I pulled back a little, away from his lips and looked up at him, moving my hand to gently slide my fingers over his cheek as I looked up at his face.

"Brendon, how many people have you kissed?"

I slid my fingers down to ghost softly over his lower lip.

Was it that obvious? I mean, I know I am bad, and havenocluewhatsoever what I am doing, but damn.

I looked away, “I, this one time...” looking him in the eye, “Two. One when I was thirteen, the other for like a second at a party. Why?” I blushed, “Am I that bad? Is it that obvious?”

I’m afraid of his answer, really I am. But, I did ask, so, you know, it is my fault.

I shook my head a little and smiled softly. "No, Brendon, you aren't that bad. More like you seem nervous, and timid and like you aren't entirely sure what you're doing. Does that about get how you're feeling when you go to kiss me?"

I nodded, “Took the feelings right out of my body,” God I’m a dork, who says that? Me, I guess, but still. I hope he doesn’t laugh in my face... “And that? Is that a good thing?”

Pulling my arm away from him, I rolled back on my side then fell onto my back. Hopefully he wouldn’t give up on me, or start preaching to me that I am overacting or something.

I moved closer and smiled, reaching up and touching his cheek. "Don't try so hard Brendon. Just go with what you feel is right."

With that I leaned in and kissed him softly, taking control of the kiss and just letting our mouths mold together in a deep but slow kiss. I didn't want to scare him, I didn't want to push too hard or too fast, but I did want him to get the trick of kissing, because kissing was the door to everything else, and if he couldn't get that trick right, he'd have a hard time getting to the more of a relationship.

I slid my hand slowly down to his neck as I kissed him a little deeper, a little more passionately, letting the kiss evolve and progress on its own, not pushing it or guiding it, letting it guide itself.

Letting my mouth slid against his, I followed his lead. For the second time of the night, he was comforting me with the skill and forwardness he had over me.

My heart was pounding out my ears, and I am forgetting to breath, but, I’d be fucking stupid to pull away now.

I managed to make my hands around his thin waist to pull him on top of me, this whole on the side thing wasn’t working well for me. Once he settled, I drug my hands along his back.

What? That is what they do in movies right? At least the ones I watch...

I raised my eyebrows a little when he pulled me on top of him and slid my hand back up to slip under his head and into his hair. I positioned myself so that my leg slid down between his, pressing myself down against him, a small sound of appreciation slipping out at his hands on my skin.

I continued kissing him for a few more moments before slowly pulling back, tugging gently on his lower lip as I did before pulling back fully and licking my lips. Slowly I opened my eyes and looked down at him, a small smile on my lips.

"It just takes a little practice Brendon."

Yeah, so my heart wasn’t pounding in my chest anymore. It is now very much so aching between my legs.

“Practice,” I muttered out of breath, “I think I like this practice. Like, like it a lot,” I grinned as I tried to regain my breath, “Ok,” I slid my hands along his soft, hot skin, unintentionally thrusting up in the process, “I think we need to practice some more,” I smirked as I ran my left hand up along his back and to his neck to force his lips against my open mouth again.

Yep. This is the best practice ever!

I smirked before he pulled my lips down to his again, and I started to gently move my hips against his, feeling how aroused he was getting just by kissing me, and I decided to give him the friction he wanted. Not to mention I wasn't against it either. This time I let him control the kiss, I let him lead and I followed, giving him the practice.

I slid my hand down over his side, slipping my fingers up along his side, pressing my fingers into his skin as my body continued to slowly move against mine. It felt good to have someone in my bed, and it felt good that it was all slow.

The feel of his lips against mine, tongue rubbing against him, skin pressed against me, body moving against me, fuck it was all to much.

Breathing heavily through my nose, I moaned in my mouth as his lower half met mine while his hands trailed my sides. All these feelings and sensations were almost too much to bear. And here I thought jerking off was amazing!

Allowing his tongue to rub against mine, I ran mine along his teeth and gums, memorizing every bump and crevice.

I pulled our lips apart after a few moments, panting softly and licked my lips. My eyes opened lazily, and I looked down at him, a small smile tugging at my lips as I did. He looked adorable, all flushed and breathless beneath me, it was a rather intoxicating sight.

"What have you done with someone Brendon? Guy or girl. What is it that you have done, or have experienced? Anything at all?"

No talking! More kissing.

His lips looked so pretty. Pretty? What the hell, that’s the best I could come up with? But they were nice, and even nice doesn’t describe them. All plump and red and wet, and oh wait, I did that to him!

I blushed. Again. “Um, well, none really, I mean, I kissed two girls, and well, none with a guy yet,” biting my lip again, wait...didn’t he say he liked when I got all shy and flustered? I so could use this to my advantage! “But,” that’s it, use those acting techniques, “You, know, you could like teach me or something if you want to, I mean, what we’ve done, you know,” I made a hand motion between us, “Has been good, but I think I could, um, use some more practice...”

I chuckled softly and reached up and ran my fingers over his cheek, smirking slightly down at him. "Oh? You think you could use more practice, huh? Well, what if I said I was ready to go to sleep right now, would that disappoint you?"

I looked at his face and leaned down and pressed my lips softly against his. "Perhaps we should get some sleep Brendon. It might be too soon to do too much more tonight. Too soon at least for you. Maybe, if you can be here a little tomorrow. We can...practice...again."

I pecked his lips, “I am kind of disappointed since I am now wide a-” I yawned, “Wake...” we both laughed, “You are right though,” I lifted my lower half as I stretched, “We can practice more soon.”

Yawning again, I stretched, smoothing my hand around his back as he curled up against me, slipping my hand into the elastic of his briefs along his hipbone and keeping it there. He was so warm, who needed sheets. Although these sheets are soft and cozy.

“Ok, we will practice,” another yawn escaped my lips, “Another time, and then,” I sighed, “Will I get to meet Sam?”

I smiled as I nestled in against him, slipping my arm around him. I held myself close and sighed softly. "You've already met him Brendon."

I smiled softly again and closed my eyes, yawning as well and nestling in as close to him as I could get, pulling the sheet up and over us so that we were partially covered. I thought it was funny that of everything it was 'Sam' that had him most interested.

I raised a brow, “What? I have?”

Huh? The bathroom? The door? The water...bottle? The wall? What? I am so confused.

And, oh so, I yawned again, pulling him even closer I kissed his forehead before nestling my head back into the pillow. Allowing sleep to take over my body. Shit, it’s been a long day. A lot of firsts, and definitely a lot more practice.

I smiled to myself as I felt him fall asleep, following right behind him as I stayed close against him. I would have to formally introduce him to Sam in the morning when we were both awake again.