Title:This is bullshit (8/?)</>
Authors: howido_fics & youbrat
Pairing:Brendon/Ryan</>
Rating:R</>
Summary:A date?</>
Disclaimer:*sigh*</>
Author’s Note:It’s a co-write. I am Brendon, youbrat is Ryan.</>
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Exams were over for the week, thank god. I had a few left over for the beginning of the next week, but I had a day to relax and time to go out. Luckily my exams on Monday wouldn't require lots of studying that would take up my whole weekend because I really wanted to be free to do whatever I wanted with Brendon tonight, and stay up with him all night if he wanted to.

I had already started packing up some of the stuff in my room, and there were boxes and bins in the corner just waiting to be brought home. My music, bed, some of my clothes and other necessities were still left unpacked, but I knew it wouldn't take too long to pack all that up, provided I didn't get distracted of course.

Stretching, I moved over to the closet, looking at the remaining clothes hanging there and deciding on a pair of rather tight fitting jeans of the three that were hanging up. They were a medium wash, not too dark, not too light, they were just perfect. I grabbed a snug black T-shirt as well, tugging it over my head before turning to the mirror and going about styling my hair.

The whole ride home, Amanda hounded me since I let it slip out that Ryan had a friend named Sam. And I wasn’t quite sure what Sam was. And, of course she and Spence spent the fifteen minute ride coming up with a million different things it could be.

A monkey..and no, not the nasty thing Pete Wentz had at the VMA’s...a stuffed one. A dildo, which made Spencer cringe...hey, it comes to use in both my and Amanda’s relationships...A pillow. A vibrator. Pudding, ok, that was Spencer, and we were both like WTF?!?!?!

Either way, all the sexual talk wasn’t helping matters...

Really, though, I wonder what Sam is? I liked most of the ideas thrown around in the car. Hell, some of them even turned me on...

I hopped in the shower, anticipating the night. I was gonna stay with Ryan. In his dorm room, I hope his roommate was gone. Wait...did he say he had a personal room, either way...I’m sure there is two extra-long twin beds in there like most dorm rooms, and he could have one, and me the other.

Or we could share.

And those things are small.

I know we are tiny guys...but, we’d fit snug. We could spoon! My backside against his front. His hardon pressing into my ass...

Dammit Brendon, you don’t have time to get hard...

I’ll make this quick.

Reaching down, I grabbed my shaft and started stroking lightly. Yeah, I even like to tease myself. My head fell forward as the stream of water pelted on my forehead, washing out the shampoo. As I picked up the pace, I allowed my head to fall back, the water tickling my adam’s apple forcing my breath to shallow as I rubbed my thumb over my slit.

That was all it took.

Thoughts of Ryan, my hand, the water, the deep breaths. I released in three short spurts and turned off the water.

Looking at the clock in the bathroom, SHIT I didn’t have much time...a polo and jeans will have to do...

I spent a few minutes fixing my hair, styling it perfectly before drawing on a light, yet perfect line of eyeliner on both my eyes, smiling to myself at how I look before nodding a little and grabbing my wallet. I shoved my wallet into my pocket and grabbed my keys. I stopped in front of my full length mirror, checking myself out before shoving my feet into a pair of shoes and making my way out the door.

Reaching my car, I got in glancing at the time and nodding when I saw I had just enough to get to the theater. I started the car and headed down into the town, glancing around to be sure I was where I was supposed to be before pulling into the parking lot and parking my car. I took a shakey breath before getting out, smoothing my hands down and over my jeans before making my way up to the theater to wait for Brendon.

Shoving an extra pair of boxers, a toothbrush, some paste and a clean pair of socks in my messenger bag, I passed through the kitchen, shouting a goodbye to my parents before grabbing the car keys and heading towards the theater.

Ok, so I was a little late, but if he didn’t make me so hot, I would’ve had a quick shower.

I hope he wasn’t pissed, I definitely didn’t want this night to go like the last time we met...

Walking into the place, I glanced around until I spotted a thin, dark-haired boy with tight jeans and a black shirt who looked like he was waiting for someone. Could it be me? I smiled, not only from seeing him, but also that he had on a nice get-up and a cute butt.

I glanced down at my phone to see what time it was, frowning at the time and wondering if maybe he'd decided to stand me up without telling me. I ran my hand through my hair and looked up at the boards saying what movies were playing, not even sure what movie it was he wanted to see so that I could buy tickets before he arrived.

I flipped my phone open and started playing with the settings, debating on trying to call Brendon to see if maybe he forgot or something before shaking my head and flipping my phone closed. I knew it would be my luck that I would get stood up and I frowned, moving over to sit down in one of the chairs, pulling my legs up and resting my chin on my knees.

Before I made my way over to him, he took a seat nearby, fiddling with his phone. He looked so innocent. Even from the back.

I took out my phone, pressing ‘send’ since he was the last person I called, and typed, TURN AROUND.

I jumped when my phone went off, and I looked down to see a message from him. Smiling, I opened it and laughed when I saw what it said, turning around and shaking my head when I saw him.

"Hey."

I smirked, “Hey! You know we gotta use the phone to break the ice, so, anything you want to see?”

That’s it Brendon, get straight down to business so you don’t end up drooling or fumbling. Even though he does think it is cute...

"You said there was something you wanted to see when you asked if I wanted to meet you tonight."

I stood up and turned to him, smiling softly as I shrugged a little and looked up at the board of movies.

"I haven't seen much since I've been doing school stuff so I'm pretty much up for anything."

I scratched my head, “I forget...” I followed my eyes to the board noticing that most of the movies started in well over an hour...since I was late...

“Um, I’m not much a fan of scary movie,” I frowned, “Theygivemenightmares,” I managed to mumble, “But I heard The Descent was good, if you wanna watch that?”

Still staring at the times, “But it doesn’t start until 8:30, and I’m kinda hungry, so you wanna walk over to the mall and get something to eat?”

"I've heard The Descent was good too, I've wanted to see it, so I'm okay with that if you are."

I ran my hand through my hair again and nodded before looking over at him again. "We could get tickets before going to get food so we don't have to worry about it when we come back. And then go get some food. Do you want to do the mall though? There's an Chili's and a TGI Fridays just across the street."

And I thought I rambled...

I stepped forward, getting into the line and returning with the tickets. Holding them up, I placed them in my pocket, “I’m gonna keep them, so, you know you can’t like, take it and run away from me...”

I smirked, “But, I’m really craving an Auntie Anne pretzel, plus there is a new CD I wanted to pick up...I mean, if you are cool with heading to the mall, and all...”

What the hell, I’m a dork, rhyming and such...

I laughed as I watched him before shaking my head. "If you want mall food, that's fine. I just figured if you wanted dinner we could actually go and do a sit down and get waited on. But if you'd rather mall food, and your cd, that's fine."

I nodded and started toward the doors, shoving my hands in my pockets and chewing on my lip a little, feeling a little awkward, even though we'd gotten through all the other stuff in the past, and we were okay, at least, we were last time we talked.

We made our way across the parking lot to the mall. Of course I had to trip over a parking stopper thing...what are they called? You know, those things that are in parking lots, made of concrete, hurt like hell when you stub your toe on them...

Either way, I always make a fool of myself.

Being the gentleman that I am, I opened the door for him, as he waited again for me to lead the way. A quick trip to FYE, and I was ready to get my pretzel on.

You know, it doesn’t really seem like we are on a date...I could have done this with Spencer, maybe that’ll change IN the theater...

I walked along with Brendon, glancing over at him a little, laughing when he tripped in the parking lot but being nice and not saying anything. I smiled at him when he opened the door for me and walked into the mall. I let him lead me to FYE and flipping through some cds as he looked for the one he wanted and bought it.

Chewing on my lip I watched as he paid, wondering why he didn't want to go to a restaurant, why he just wanted a pretzel, a pretzel wasn't dinner. I sighed softly and shook my head to myself when I saw that he was done paying for the cd. "All done?"

I nodded.

Wow, that was quick.

Ok, Brendon, time to be brave. I placed my palm on the small of his back as I lead him towards the pretzel place. He didn’t pull away, so I guess he didn’t mind.

Reaching our destination, I saw that some nasty gossiping skank from school was working, I removed my hand immediately. Turning back around, I grabbed his forearm and headed towards the Applebees in the mall, “Yeah, I’m not hungry for a pretzel,” trying not to make things obvious I glanced at my watch, “Plus, we have like an hour, so how about Applebees...”

I raised my eyebrows as he led me away from the pretzel place, frowning a little and turning back to look at the storefront before back at him.

"Uh huh. Are you going to tell me the real reason you suddenly changed your mind? I mean, a moment ago you were all excited about making a pretzel your dinner."

I made a face at that because a pretzel was a snack, not dinner to me, but figuring if he went with that mindset he'd do all right at college because for some that is about all they can afford.

"What's really going on Brendon?"

I gulped, “Um, my mom would kill me if she knew I was having a pretzel for dinner, plus, I am crazing a cheese quesadilla from Applebee’s, so, yeah, that will be good.”

I removed my arm when I glanced over my shoulder and saw some jocks from school, biting my lip, I all but sprinted to the restaurant, hoping he was following...damn, I am surrounded!

I frowned when he basically ran away from me, and I crossed my arms over my chest. Well, this was definitely not what I was expecting at all. I took my time going over to the restaurant and looked at him.

"If you're going to lie to me, and if you're ashamed to be out with me, then maybe we should just end this before it goes any further. Maybe you can call Spence to go to the movie with you Brendon. Then at least you won't be ashamed to be out in public with another guy."

I grabbed his hands, lacing them with mine. I hope that was enough for now to tell him I am interested, before I could get him alone and explain the situation.

Hell, I didn’t even know the situation...

I’m fucked.

In the head, yes.

Shit! Hot guy...hot COLLEGE guy...and I’m going all...I dunno.

I pulled us into the restaurant, “Urie, party of two.”

“Right this way,” the waitress said as we followed her to a booth in the back. I sat facing the entrance allowing him to chose to sit next to me or across from me.

I let him damn near drag me into the restaurant and to the booth. I sat down across from him, still feeling and looking very skeptical about this whole thing and feeling like maybe all of this was a mistake from the beginning.

I leaned back in the booth, thanking the hostess as I opened my menu, not looking at Brendon as I tried to figure out what the hell was going on and why I was out on what I had hoped would be a date and was looking deridingly more like a night he was going to regret, and me too. I was sure that he was already regretting being out in public.

I sighed, time to spill.

Reaching across the table, I pulled Ryan’s menu out of his hands as it was blocking our view, “Look, it’s not that I am ashamed to be out with you in public, it’s just that all this jocks and skanky people are around, and I don’t want them to be spreading rumors. I mean, not for now. Cause I don’t want my parents to find out like that. I like you, and I want to be with you, hence why I asked you to the movies and to the prom, but right now I am not ready to tell my parents my sexuality, and I am hoping you will understand and respect that, but mostly, I am hoping you will help me out and through it.”

I looked up at him, “I’m just,” I sighed, “Scared.”

I looked at him and closed the menu, chewing on my lip a little as I did and as I regarded him. I didn't understand why whatever relationship we were building had to be fought with such drama and things that, as far as I was concerned, shouldn't be in the beginning of a relationship.

Sighing softly I shook my head. "Brendon, I can understand not wanting everyone to know until your parents know. But.." I paused for a moment before continuing. "The two of us, walking through a mall together, does not necessarily give off the idea that we are dating. For all the people from your school know, we could be two friends out at the mall together, maybe we were meeting up with Spencer or something. You freaking out the way you did, if anything, brought more attention to you and the situation and causes more raised eyebrows and minds to spin with why you were freaking out about being at a mall with a guy."

I looked up as the waitress came over to get our drink orders and placed mine, letting you place yours and waiting for her to leave before continuing.

"Maybe it would have fit for you better to not be out in public at all with me. If you are that scared of who you are and what you are and scared of people from your school discovering who and what you are, then going places where we could be seen by such people was perhaps not the best choice."

“I know. I know I am not ready, it’s just, I know that I am gay. I know I prefer guys. But you are the first guy that I have ever had feelings for, I mean, besides Frank Iero or Patrick Stumph...it’s just, that I want to be with you, and not just through the phone. I thought I could handle the mall, the movies definitely, I just don’t want you to think that I am ashamed of you, cause I am not, more than anything I am ashamed of myself for not being brave like you...”

The waitress returned with our drinks, and I drank half the glass in one slurp.

“But, I do wanna hang out with you...and maybe I am not ready for the public...and I do have a get our of jail free card from my parents, and my toothbrush, so if you, you know, don’t think I am complete slime, we could hang out at your dorm room...that is if your roommate doesn’t mind..”

"I understand you being scared Brendon, I do, really. I was there once myself, but things have changed for me, and it started when I started admitting the truth to everyone, not just myself, and not just the guys i hooked up with. I will not force you to be openly gay. I will not force you to say or do anything you aren't ready for. But I'm not being brave, I am being me. I'm comfortable with my sexuality and with who I am, I'm open about it and just about everyone who knows me knows that I'm gay. It isn't an issue for me. My parents know, and even though they weren't happy, they're fine with it now."

I took a drink of my soda and shrugged a little. "Not everyone goes about it the same, and that's fine. You take your own pace with coming out to your friends and family, but don't hide forever, or you'll be hiding your whole life. And then what fun is that when if you're out, you can go out and be seen in public and just have fun."

I smiled softly and shrugged again. "IF you still want to come over, you can, and I haven't had a roommate all year, so if I have one when I get back I'll be worried."

I couldn’t help but smile.

I am relieved he understood.

“Thanks Ryan,” I gave him a short smile, “Thank you for understanding...”

Pulling out my wallet, I dropped a five on the table for our drinks, since we hadn’t ordered yet, “So, what do you say we go back to your place,” I winked, “And order a pizza?”

"Brendon..." I frowned a little and looked down at the money on the table before back up at him.

I nodded and shoved the money back at him across the table, pulling out my own wallet and putting down a ten before nodding. "If that is what you really want, we can do that. But what about the tickets for the movie you bought? Are we going to not use them?"

“OH YEAH!” I yelled causing people to stare.

I smirked, “But if we watch it and I get scared? Are you gonna protect me tonight? Or will that be Sam’s job?”

I grabbed the five, waving it, “Large popcorn!”

I laughed and shook my head. "Why not actually get dinner here, we can get popcorn at the theater, and if it gets too scary for you and you can't handle it we'll leave and go back to the dorm. Okay?"

I smiled and picked up my menu before closing it again because I had already decided what I wanted. "Does that sound okay to you?"

I shrugged, “I guess.”

"Well, what do you want to do then?" I tilted my head a little, looking at him, my hair falling over my eyes.

“Whatever you want to do, you call the shots, do we have enough time to order and receive our food?” I looked around, “They look kind of busy, and yeah, I don’t want to waste the tickets...”

"There is more than enough time Brendon. They're busy, but not that busy." I looked up as the waitress came over to get our orders, smiling a little as I made the order, asking her to put a little bit of a rush on it so we can make our movie, waiting until you make your order and she leaves.

"Besides, there's like 20 minutes of previews and ads before the movie starts anyway. We have time."

See, college kids are so smart.

Or maybe I’m an airhead, either way, we ordered our food and chatted a little while we waited. He told me about the movie, and I got even more scared.

Yeah, I won’t be sleeping tonight...

I frowned a little at his expression. "Are you sure you want to see this movie?"

Laughing a little I looked up as our food was placed in front of us, thanking the waitress and starting in on my food while I waited for his response, just letting myself relax a little, for the moment viewing it as just being out with a friend.

“I just am scared of scary movies,” I bit into my quesadilla, swallowing before continuing, “It’s like roller coasters, I hate the wait and the line and freak out, but once it is over I’m like, ‘dude, that was cake,’ I have anxiety problems or something.”

Taking another bit, I pouted, “But, you’ll protect me right?” I slid my toe up his leg.

I laughed at first, and then spluttered when I felt his toe going up my leg and put down my food, looking over at him with a raised eyebrow.

"I'll try Brendon, but it'll be protecting you from invisible monsters."

I chuckled and moved my feet a little, touching his softly as I continued to eat my dinner, making sure I was aware of the time.

I grinned the best I could with a mouth full of tortillas, tomatoes, cheese and guacamole, “Perfect...” I sputtered out before finishing my plate and pulling out my cell phone to check the time.

You know, I wouldn’t mind if we missed like the first half hour, cause that is always the worst part, but I’d never tell him that. Hell, he already thinks I’m enough of a pussy I’m sure.

I finished my sandwich and ate the last french fry before taking another sip of my soda.

"You about ready to go? Or do you want dessert too? We can always get dessert at the theater, or popcorn, whichever you want."

I pulled out my money again and looked up as the waitress came over to ask if we wanted anything else.

“Mmm, sour patch kids!” What was I Homer Simpson, next thing you know I’ll be drooling over bacon and a Duff beer.

Yeah, I’m a bitch, I ignore waitresses...

“No, let’s go, so we can get a good seat!” I hopped out of the booth, waiting on him.

I laughed and shook my head, standing up and handing the waitress more than enough money to cover our food and the tip, thanking her for putting up with us before following Brendon out of the restaurant.

"You couldn't even give the waitress time enough to hand over the check, could you?" I shook my head and walked with him across to the theater.

I turned back around and grinned, shaking my ass, “NOPE!”