howido_fics (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} howido_fics) wrote,@ 2006-08-10 10:40:00 |
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| Current music: | Bright Eyes |
| Entry tags: | this is bullshit |
Title:This is bullshit (2/?)</>
Authors: howido_fics & youbrat
Pairing:Brendon/Ryan</>
Rating:R</>
Summary:Brendon is grounded.</>
Disclaimer:*sigh*</>
Authro’s Note: OK, so it’s not a standalone. It’s a co-write. I am Brendon, youbrat is Ryan. Alot more talking, a lot less action.</>
I woke up the next day. Ryan still fresh on my mind. I actually couldn’t get him out of my head.
I don’t know what it was about him, but, he was just...
“Brendon, honey, your father and I are going to a church meeting this afternoon. Your sister will be working, so I hope you take it upon yourself to obey the rules, cause you know if you get caught it’ll be an additional two weeks, and Sweetie,” she stepped over to mat down my hair, “We know we don’t want that...”
“Yeah mom,” like she gave a shit, she’d be happy if I were grounded for the rest of me life.
“Ok, well, we’ll see you at dinner. I love you Honey.”
“Yeah mom.”
“Oh and there is cheese in the fridge and bread for a grilled cheese. You can make that, can’t you?”
“Yeah mom...”
FINALLY, she got up and left.
Sighing, I fell back into bed. Wow, this grounded shit is really giving me some more sleep. It’s almost noon. I guess I should shower.
And call Ryan.
I mean, and get something to eat.
Then call Ryan.
Um, yeah, then, I can call Ryan!
St. John’s College Homework Help Hotline, how can I help you.
“Hi! I need some help with my periodic table!”
Ok, Ryan is available to help you, I’m gonna transfer your call.
Sweet, just who I was looking for!
“Thanks!”
Hello, this is Ryan, what can I help you with today?
I SO gotta make this fun!
“Um, hi, sexy, I uh, need help with my chemistry!”
Oh, um, okay....what part of chemistry?
Why does he make it so easy?
“Oh *giggles* the chemistry of me and you!”
Um...I'm not sure I'm qualified to help you in that type of chemistry.
Dude, that’s cause you are gay...
“Oh really?”
Yeah, uh...If you have questions about actual chemistry subjects in school, I can help, or try to.
“The guy said you were the expert on chemistry and that's the chemistry I need help on. I should report you. Why do you have a girlfriend?”
I'm here to help with chemistry, like, school chemistry subjects, not...um...interpersonal chemistry...so maybe you should be asking someone else about that.
“What are you queer or something?”
Come one Baby, fall into the trap!
I'm sorry, my personal life is none of your business and if that's all the questions as far as true chemistry goes, I hope you have a good night.
BINGO!
“*laughs* oh! I SO had you! Why is it that you would give out your personal life last night to me, but she got the shaft. Oh wait, I got that too....”
Why you little...this hotline isn't a sex hotline you know? I'm not just here for booty calls, or, rather, phone sex in your case.
“Oh, come one Ry, you know you like it!”
Yeah, well, still...
“Besides, I know you've been thinking about me since we got off the phone last night. Me and my sexy voice.”
Oh? And how do you know what I have or have not been thinking?
“I'm psychic.”
*laughs* Oh are you now? So what am I thinking right now?
“That I am full of shit.”
Hm...maybe you are just a touch of psychic.
Works every time!
*smirks* “Oh I love this song! Phone lines been busy today?”
*laughs softly* You cannot keep on one topic for very long, can you? And no, they haven't been too bad so far. Aren't you still grounded?
“Yeah, still grounded.”
So how are you on the phone again? And you're allowed to listen to music while you're grounded?
“My alarm clock radio, yes.”
So why did you really call me?
“Duh, I'm doing my homework.”
Oh are you now? So what homework are you doing?
“Hydrogen, Helium, Oxygen...”
Is that so? And what are you doing with Hydrogen, Helium and Oxygen?
“Making water! H20!”
You'll be making more than just water with that...you don't need Helium
“Dammit. I knew that! Water balloons!”
Did you really call me to talk about chemistry? Or are horny again and wanting to get off?
*gasp* ”I need help with formulas and such, and I've already got off today, thank you!”
Ah, okay, so you've used me to get off once, and now you're going to use me for my brain?
*laughs* “You know, I can hang up if you want me to.”
Yeah, and then what'll you do while you're grounded with no one to talk to? Talk to your pillow?
“That was a low blow!”
Yeah, well lucky for you you like to be blown that low.
Oh, you don’t even know!
“Grr, you are feisty today. I just might have to get off again.”
Oh? And what about me?
“You, my friend can practice your chemistry.”
Oh can I? Would you let me do that? Really?
“Why sure, cause I am nice like that!”
Well, aren't you a sweetheart. So maybe I should hang up and work on my homework then.
Don’t do that! We aren’t done yet.
“Nnn, no, no you no, don't! Cause, I wanna talk to you.”
Sure, turn me into a blubbering fool...
And by talk do you mean actually talk to me? Or listen to my voice while you put your hand in your pants and stroke yourself?
Yeah, as if!
“Your voice isn't that hot, especially when you are being a smartass, there Ryan..”
Ah, you don't like me being a smartass? Well, how about a sweetheart? Aw, Bren honey, what is it you want to do?
“Ugh! You sound like my mom! Next thing you know you'll be grabbing used Kleenexes out of your purse to wipe something off my face.”
Ugh, gross! No, I'm not your mom, nothing like her I'm sure! So what do you want Brendon?
“You.”
Oh.
“Ok, so I don't want you, I just wanna talk to you, like you said, I am grounded, so, um, yeah. Not that you are fulfilling my boredom, it's just, ok, I'm gonna stop rambling now. And maybe I should go back to talking to my pillow.”
You don't want me? So now you're changing your story? You wanna talk to me but you don't want me. That's normal anyway. So what do you want to talk about?
Oh no, the truth comes out, he’s prolly really a 35 year old man with a beer belly that’s balding...oh, I should get Spence to bring over his yearbook so I can check him out, or at least ask him about him...
“Why you say that is normal.”
Because it is. But that's besides the point. What do you want to talk about?
“You, but obviously you don't want to, you keep changing the subject.”
*sighs* What do you want me to say Brendon? No one wants to touch me with a ten foot pole except for a high school kid who wants to call me to talk to me and get off on talking to me because he can't see me and see what everyone else who doesn't want me sees?
Yikes....um....
“I'm sorry. It's not my fault. Calm down. What are you a freak or something?”
No. Its nothing. Just...don't worry about it, its my shit. Why do you think I'm sitting here on this phone on a Saturday afternoon, because I like to? I don' t have anything better to be doing right now. Same goes for last night, a friday night, I'm on the schedule because I've got nothing else to do right now than sit in my dorm room and wait for high school kids to call and ask questions that I may or may not be able to answer. And the highlight of my day is when you call....
“I just thought you were on call. And yeah, I'm a high school kid, but I'm 18, and I still want to talk to you. And I know it might not mean anything, and there is really no way to prove it, but even if I weren't grounded, I would still like to call you.”
If you weren't grounded, wouldn't you be out with your friends?
“Just Spencer.”
Is he your boyfriend?
“*laughs* Spencer, my boyfriend...now that is something that wouldn't touch my cock with a ten foot pole. No, my best friend. Now, remember, the guy in the band, that used to go to your school.”
Oh, right, yeah, you said that before...
“Were you not listening to me Ryan? See, when you talk, I listen...Haha, Dane Cook, he's a riot.”
I was, but...its Saturday, that was last night, my brain is a little foggy of last night.
“What you smoking?”
No.
“Good, cause drugs are bad? What, foggy cause you had never gotten off that good in your life before?”
Oh yeah, because phone sex and my hand is the best orgasm ever.
“Well, you said you were lonely...”
Doesn't mean I couldn't get sex if that was what I really wanted to though.
“Ah, so when you aren't talking to highschoolers you are working the Vegas strip?”
Yeah, exactly. I put on the tightest pants I can find and the tiniest little shirt I own and eyeliner and go out and let men buy me.
That. That is an image that’ll stay in my mind for years...but, I don’t even know what this kid looks like...
“Oh that is hot!”
Yeah, well, remember that when you've got a couple thousand just hanging in your pocket waiting to be spent.
“Aww, you mean you wouldn't let me have it for free?”
I give it up for free to one person and I'm going to have to give it up for free to everyone. Besides, gotta pay for college somehow.
Whoa, what have I got myself into?
“Do, do you seriously do that?”
*laughs* Dude, you're gullible
“Oh, you fucker!”
I'm not that desperate for money, and someone to have sex with!
“Good. So, you said you knew about that concert? You go to them often?”
Yeah, fairly often. Gives me a reason to rub against people in a crowd.
“Why do you keeping doing that?”
Keep doing what?
“Going from emo bitch to freakin' hot!”
I like to keep you guessing.
“You're doing a good job.”
A very good job as my hand slids down my boxers.
Yeah? well if I were predictable you'd be bored with me.
*sings 'So Predictable'* “Am I boring you?”
Did I even imply that you were? *moves around, causing rustling* So, how long are you going to be on the phone with me?
”Am I bothering you, you got someone else in the room with you?”
Yeah, you're just the narration while I'm getting sucked off.
Yep, straight to the cock.
”That's hot Ry.”
Mmmhmm...so is he.
DAymn!
”I, I, I can leave you to that then...”
Oh? You don't want to listen in?
*nods* Come one dumbass, words...he can’t hear you nod!
Well...guess I'll talk to you next time you c all then...
Speak Brendon! FOr the love of you dick!
”Nnno, no...I wanna...”
You wanna what?
”....hear.....”
Hear what?
”Fuck, you know what.”
Fuck you? You're grounded, don't think you can get here.
”But!”
Mmmmhh?
*slap* I hit my head, why you gotta throw that in for?
What was that?
”Wait, wait!”
For?
”You're messing with me again aren't you?”
What do you think? *moans*
”I think...i think I reallywishthatIwasn'tgroundedsoIcouldbet
Fuuck...Bren...how long are you fucking grounded?
”Tooooooo long.....and hard...”
How fucking long is that?
Looking down, I haven’t measured in a while, maybe I should do that again, I know I’m still growing...
“A good seven...”
Shit, what the hell did you do to get yourself grounded at 18 for so long?
”I mean, just 5 more days...I said 'Fuck' at the sermon.”
Next time keep your tongue in check so it can be doing other things...
”Yes, yes, I'll bite it!”
As long as its gentle biting.
Mmmm.
”Just nibbles.”
And lots of licking and sucking.
”And humming and stroking and kissing and swallowing.”
Mmmm...and grinding and groping and fucking.
Oh, the hand is going faster. Shit, I’m gonna come again, and he’ll just be listening...
”Fuck. Yes, yes, yes, fucking!”
*whispers all low and huskily* Are you touching yourself Bren?
All words are lost...
“Mmmhmmm”
*continues in a whisper* Stretched out on your bed, hand down your pants?
“Mmmm.”
When you're not grounded anymore, are you going to crawl through my window in the middle of the night?
“....Every night Ryan....”
...and then what?
You can do it! You can talk!
“And then...and then...all that stuff before....”
*whispers seductively* I want you here Bren.
“I can't...I can't.”
WHY DO I HAVE TO BE GROUNDED?
You need to be
“I wanna be...more than you'll ever know. Shit, How. Do. You. Do. This. To. Me?”
How do I do what Bren?
“I'm supposed to be...in control.”
Oh? And why is that? Why can't I be in a little control?
“Cause, cause I called you....”
So that means you're to be in control?
“Yeah...”
So when you crawl in my window every night, you're going to be the one in control?
“Always. I'll be the one on top of you. Inside of you. Kissing you. Jerking you off. Coming inside of you.”
Time to pay attention to the head...yes, thumb across the slit. Fuck! Shit, I hope he didn’t hear that...
*moans and gasps softly* What if I want you being on top, but me being inside you?
“So, so I can watch yourself sliding in and out of me...and you can jerk me off while hitting my spot repeatedly.”
Maybe. Maybe I want to. Being naked alone is no fun...but watching you climb on top of me...
“No fun at all. And seeing you naked, and sprawled across the bed.”
Too bad you're not right here right now...
“I know. Can't leave. Must get off.”
Get off? How hard are you? How naked are you?
“Yes, very hard. No shirt, just boxers, that are down my thighs”
Take them off...take them all the way off Bren...be naked for me...with me...
“You, you, you're naked?”
God yes...you called right after I got out of the shower, never got dressed.
Shit! The door! My mom!
“FUCK! SHIT! That's! MY PARENTS! I GOTTA GO!”
*click*
